On / off with Camper ... part 3
Description
Weird Boobs and Little Wieners
Our Son Is Disabled and It's Tearing Us Apart
Our Kids Drove Us Crazy
Our Home Renovation Is Wrecking Our Marriage
Our Grown Daughter Moved Back In
Our Dog is Coming Between Us
My Teenage Daughter Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Stepdaughter Is Ruining Our Marriage
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
Things You Should Be Doing To Find the Right Man
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
Why I Like Messed-Up Girls
Pilates It Is A Great Place To Meet Girls!
How to Date Your Partner Forever
Slender Young And Pretty Girls
Do I Only Date Pretty Women?
Let’s Just Get Naked
So… You Want to Date a Single Dad.
My confession for Camper: I had kissed another guy shortly before our first breakup talk.
New Guy.
New Guy and I had stayed in touch (as friends), but hadn't seen each other in some time. As I wrote here, he had wanted to take me out for a belated birthday drink some time ago, and I canceled because I felt like it was too soon for us to be "just friends" -- and I didn't feel that it was fair to Camper for me to have a drink with a recent ex (especially one for whom I still had lingering feelings).
Once I began to feel that things with Camper were truly on the outs, I suggested to New Guy that we reschedule that drink. I didn't (consciously) go into it with the intention of being intimate -- but after a few hours of great conversation and laughter over dinner, we gradually started sitting closer and closer and got a bit flirtier, until we were kissing.
We were in touch the next day: while we'd both had a lovely time, we valued our growing friendship, and didn't want this lapse in judgment to impede upon that. He stressed that he's still not ready for a relationship at this time, but wants our friendship to continue to flourish. There's something about this guy -- he's a truly special person, and having him in my life, even just on a platonic basis, means a lot to me.
I felt terrible about having cheated on Camper, but also realized that was a sign of my growing dissatisfaction in the relationship -- and was probably the catalyst for the first breakup talk later that week. (incidentally, New Guy was not aware that I was in a supposedly exclusive relationship the night we kissed. I confessed to him the next day, and he felt terrible).
*
So -- I told Camper that I had kissed someone else (without going into any of the details as outlined above). I simply said it was someone I used to date, but may still have lingering feelings for. I think I was hoping that he'd get mad at me, and he'd want to break up for good -- instead, he thanked me for my honesty, and felt that he finally had an explanation of "so THAT'S when things started to go wrong".
Sigh. Somehow, I still didn't have it in me to rip off the Band-Aid for good. When someone is THAT crazy about you, it's hard to walk away.
Finally, a few days later, I had a very eye-opening session with my shrink. Much like writing it out here, when all the evidence is laid out in front of you, it seems so simple: the bad outweighs the good. You're not happy in this relationship, and it's not going to get any better. It was as simple as my shrink asking, "do you see a future here?". When the answer was no, I felt like the most fair and kind thing I could do was break up with Camper.
We had a long talk that night -- anger at first, then sadness, then tears on both sides. Finally ripped off the Band-Aid. This time, when Camper asked if we could still keep our weekend plans, I had the hindsight to realize that it wasn't a good idea. If we have a chance of being friends down the road, we need some REAL time and distance apart this time.
I'm still a bit sad -- it never feels good to hurt someone. At the same time, I've had this feeling of optimism and lightness and clarity -- it's (still) a New Year, and a new beginning.
Absolutely not in a hurry to find a new boyfriend just yet. Looking forward to some single / casual dating time. On that note... info to follow on High School Guy...
Our Son Is Disabled and It's Tearing Us Apart
Our Kids Drove Us Crazy
Our Home Renovation Is Wrecking Our Marriage
Our Grown Daughter Moved Back In
Our Dog is Coming Between Us
My Teenage Daughter Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Stepdaughter Is Ruining Our Marriage
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
Things You Should Be Doing To Find the Right Man
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
Why I Like Messed-Up Girls
Pilates It Is A Great Place To Meet Girls!
How to Date Your Partner Forever
Slender Young And Pretty Girls
Do I Only Date Pretty Women?
Let’s Just Get Naked
So… You Want to Date a Single Dad.
My confession for Camper: I had kissed another guy shortly before our first breakup talk.
New Guy.
New Guy and I had stayed in touch (as friends), but hadn't seen each other in some time. As I wrote here, he had wanted to take me out for a belated birthday drink some time ago, and I canceled because I felt like it was too soon for us to be "just friends" -- and I didn't feel that it was fair to Camper for me to have a drink with a recent ex (especially one for whom I still had lingering feelings).
Once I began to feel that things with Camper were truly on the outs, I suggested to New Guy that we reschedule that drink. I didn't (consciously) go into it with the intention of being intimate -- but after a few hours of great conversation and laughter over dinner, we gradually started sitting closer and closer and got a bit flirtier, until we were kissing.
We were in touch the next day: while we'd both had a lovely time, we valued our growing friendship, and didn't want this lapse in judgment to impede upon that. He stressed that he's still not ready for a relationship at this time, but wants our friendship to continue to flourish. There's something about this guy -- he's a truly special person, and having him in my life, even just on a platonic basis, means a lot to me.
I felt terrible about having cheated on Camper, but also realized that was a sign of my growing dissatisfaction in the relationship -- and was probably the catalyst for the first breakup talk later that week. (incidentally, New Guy was not aware that I was in a supposedly exclusive relationship the night we kissed. I confessed to him the next day, and he felt terrible).
*
So -- I told Camper that I had kissed someone else (without going into any of the details as outlined above). I simply said it was someone I used to date, but may still have lingering feelings for. I think I was hoping that he'd get mad at me, and he'd want to break up for good -- instead, he thanked me for my honesty, and felt that he finally had an explanation of "so THAT'S when things started to go wrong".
Sigh. Somehow, I still didn't have it in me to rip off the Band-Aid for good. When someone is THAT crazy about you, it's hard to walk away.
Finally, a few days later, I had a very eye-opening session with my shrink. Much like writing it out here, when all the evidence is laid out in front of you, it seems so simple: the bad outweighs the good. You're not happy in this relationship, and it's not going to get any better. It was as simple as my shrink asking, "do you see a future here?". When the answer was no, I felt like the most fair and kind thing I could do was break up with Camper.
We had a long talk that night -- anger at first, then sadness, then tears on both sides. Finally ripped off the Band-Aid. This time, when Camper asked if we could still keep our weekend plans, I had the hindsight to realize that it wasn't a good idea. If we have a chance of being friends down the road, we need some REAL time and distance apart this time.
I'm still a bit sad -- it never feels good to hurt someone. At the same time, I've had this feeling of optimism and lightness and clarity -- it's (still) a New Year, and a new beginning.
Absolutely not in a hurry to find a new boyfriend just yet. Looking forward to some single / casual dating time. On that note... info to follow on High School Guy...
Début de l'événement
02.04.2022
Fin de l'événement
02.04.2022